she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
