There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
