dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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