I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
