Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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