So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
