I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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