Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
