Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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