CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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