I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
