Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
