it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
