Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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