You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize