out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
