I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
