Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
