I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
