I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
