This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
