I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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