You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
