Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
