This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Your cock deserves a montage
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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