Can i not drive my cunt home
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
