He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My dick has a subreddit
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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