I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
