is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wish you could order shots online.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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