so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
