dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Where is the hickey?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
