You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
