I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
