So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she smelled like a LAN party
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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