I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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