there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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