Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
