On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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