I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
