i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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