Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
