You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize