DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
