Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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