Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
