I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
