ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
