We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
