Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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