Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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