Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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