Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
