I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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