you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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