She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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