wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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